High-Stakes Testing

I have to be very careful with this post.  I don't want to lose my job over it (those in the education field can empathize).  However, our school corporation has begun taking our state-mandated high-stakes test this week.  We'll have two sessions of it--one this week and one the beginning of May.


I haven't posted many teaching stories in my blog for a few reasons.  One being there are some parents who read my blog and I want them to know I enjoy teaching their children and I never want them to think I would tell stories about their children.  Another reason is that, this year, I'm pretty unhappy with my job and honestly don't feel like talking about it that much outside of school.  It's gotten better as the school year has progressed, but I am still longing for the day when I can get back to what I do best--teaching in the general education classroom.


That being said, I have a few things to say about the high-stakes test we're taking this week:


Number one: it's ridiculous to base student learning, teacher proficiency, and school growth on a stinkin' state-mandated test.  I'm sorry, but there are too many factors in the lives of the children, parents, educators, and administrators to base our pay, our yearly growth, and our children's successes (or failures) on one test.  For example, two of our elementary students and one of our middle school students lost their mother in a tragic accident last week.  Her funeral was today.  Although I am sure these kiddos will be taking the test next week, how well do you think they will be able to concentrate?  What about the student who was put into foster care for the first time?  The teacher who is trying to deal with personal loss?  The administrator who is unhappy with his/her job?  Everything factors into how well our school performs on this assessment. I can't believe so much is at stake with this test!


Number two: The vocabulary used in the tests is often unfamiliar to students.  As a special education teacher, I use "layman's" terms for my daily teaching.  High-stakes tests only offer technical vocabulary.  I was reading a question to one of my students (it's in his IEP that I do so), and he kept looking at me and saying, "What?"  I so badly wanted to say it in layman's terms so he could understand.  Instead, like a robot, I kept reading the prompt over and over.  He finally shrugged and started to write.  I moved away because I didn't want to see what he ended up putting down; I was afraid it'd break my heart because he didn't understand what was being asked of him.


Number three: As a special education teacher, my kiddos are not learning at grade-level.  Guess what?  The state doesn't care.  If they are enrolled in a fifth grade homeroom, then they are taking the fifth grade test.  My students that I pull out of the regular classroom for instruction are at least one grade level behind their peers, oftentimes two or three.  I've agonized this week over how frustrated they must've felt taking a test that they couldn't begin to answer correctly, even with the accommodations they have in their IEPs.  I can only hope they guessed right or maybe had picked up some information in their regular classroom that could've helped them.  I was fortunate enough to give the test to third, fourth, and fifth grade, so I saw the difficulty level of each test.  If my fifth graders could have taken the third grade test, I think they could've passed.


I'm not writing this to knock my students; they do the best they can with their abilities.  They've shown progress since the beginning of the year, and I'm proud to say one of my fifth grade girls needs to pass her x8 and x9 multiplication facts and she will have mastered them from 0-12.  They progress at their pace and on their level, it just happens to not be at grade-level.


With all the pressure on educators from the state level, I wish someone somewhere could stand up for these kiddos.  I'm fighting my own battle between the adults in my students' lives; we all want what's best, but we all have our own definitions of "best."  If my kiddos could take an assessment that is based on their ability level instead of their actual grade level, think of how successful they could be and how much frustration could be taken off their little shoulders!

First Week of School

I survived my first week in my new job.  I have to admit--although I'd absolutely love to go back to being a 5th grade teacher, I have about as close to having a teaching position in 5th grade as I'm gonna get (well, for this year at least).  Let me explain....


Another teacher and I are responsible for the third, fourth, and fifth grade special needs students.  We have students with learning disabilities, emotional disabilities, and impairments due to ADHD or other factors.  Our students are mainstreamed...they spend as much time in the regular classroom as they can and still learn the material.  We provide instructional support within the regular classroom and we also pull students out and teach small groups.  My caseload consists of all the fifth grade students we service in our school.  What luck!!  I'd be pulling out the fifth grade reading and math groups and having the fifth grade study hall in my classroom each day.  I also have a fourth grade math group 4 times a week, fourth grade study hall every day, and I go into a third grade classroom to help students with math.  Overall, I like how my schedule is set up.  


I was allowed to keep my classroom that I had the past two years as a fifth grade teacher.  I still get to talk with my fifth grade cohorts on a regular basis.  I even have lunch at the same time as two of the fifth grade teachers.  And, at the end of each day, I get to stand in the hallway and watch two of the fifth grade classes at dismissal time.  This is probably the highlight of my day!  Not only do I get to mingle with the kiddos, my sixth grade and seventh grade students can get off the buses and come visit me for a few minutes before dismissal.  I've had five students visit me so far.  It's so good to have the opportunity to see them and hear how their year is going.  


Do I like my job?  No.  Do I hate my job?  No.  Am I doing the best I can at my job? Yes.  These kids need someone who cares about them and wants to help them succeed.  They need someone who will take the extra time to teach them the way they learn.  Do I want to be that person?  Honestly, no, I don't.  Do I have to be that person for a year? Yes, I do.  I might as well make the most of it.  I just really hope it doesn't come back to get me and I won't be able to move out of this position.  I keep waiting to experience that joy that I felt when I taught preschool and fifth grade.  I know I never experienced that joy when I taught K-2 Special Education.  Will it come with time?  Maybe.  Right now I just feel like someone has taken my heart & soul and I'm just a shell.  Maybe someday I'll get my heart & soul back.


One bright spot this week:  I went into the third grade classroom for the first time.  As I walked in, the teacher was in the middle of her math lesson.  One of the boys looked at me and did a double-take.  He whispered, "What are YOU doing in here?"  I whispered back, "I'm in here to help."  He asked, "Don't you teach fifth grade?"  I said, "Well, yeah..."  and before I could finish, he said, "Well, what did you do with your kids then??"  I guess he thought I left them to fend for themselves while I popped into the third grade to check things out!!  I did get a chuckle out of that.  

It's Been Awhile

It's been forever since I blogged.  The main reason:  my computer crashed a few months back.  At first I was going through facebook/email/blogging withdrawl.  Then, as time went on, I actually enjoyed not having a computer in the house.  I found that I spent an insane amount of time mindlessly checking facebook or looking up things on the internet.  Finally--I had freedom at home to do things like dishes, or laundry.  :)

Anyways....a few things have happened that I should take time to talk about in this entry.  First, I have been keeping my buddy, C, a lot more.  He's going through some things at home right now, so I try to spend one day during the week and a day on the weekend with him.  He's been coming with me to church, and my family has shown him there are people in this world who are responsible, respectful, and do care about others.  Second, I've taken another little guy, H, under my wing.  I don't spend near the time with him that I do with C, but H and his family have a special place in this teacher's heart.  I've taken him a few times antiquing, which both our families enjoy doing.  Third, I have nixed the Boston trip for this summer.  I have a few other ideas planned in the travel department (more to come on that later). Fourth, I have decided to go ahead and pursue a Master's degree in Education starting this summer.  I was going to work on this after my 5th year of teaching, but our state has passed some...new rules and regulations.  It would be in my best interest to begin before July 1, 2011, which is exactly what I'm going to do.  Fifth, I borrowed a laptop from C and his mom.  I'm hoping to order a new Macbook after July 4th.

There's another huge, major event that has happened in the past month for me....and it's not a pleasant event.  I am moving teaching assignments this fall.  I've screamed, cried, begged, and agonized over this.  I've met with my immediate supervisor on several occasions and our superintendent as well.  As of this fall, I will not be teaching 5th grade, but teaching Special Education grades 3-5.  Now, before you go thinking I'm a heartless person, or wondering what on earth there is to agonize over, let me tell you my case...

My very first year of teaching I taught Special Education grades K-2.  If you're unfamiliar with what all that entails, basically I am a resource room for students who need extra time and help in Language Arts and Math.  I had an assistant under my direction, and between the two of us we had some 10 students in grades K-2.  Some students we helped in their regular classroom and some students came to our classroom for study time or for additional instruction.  Doesn't sound too bad, does it? I loved the kids.  Absolutely loved them (and kept in touch with quite a few during my various placements over the years).  Now, for the not-so-lovely part:  I never had them to myself. I spent a large part of the school day splitting my time observing students who were being referred to the program, working on Individual Education Plans (IEP's) for my students, and having case conferences with parents/students/other personnel.  My point of view:  I went into teaching so I could work with students.  Bottom line.  Did I get to do that?  Yes.  Did I get to do that as much as a general education teacher who has the same 20 students all day?  Certainly not.  I knew after that year of teaching that I never wanted to be a special education teacher again.  Give me any student with special needs...inside of my general education classroom.

Fast forward a few years.  I've had a preschool classroom for one year and 5th grade for two years.  I was perfectly content staying in 5th grade a 3rd year, but God has other plans for me.  He must have seen that I take time to work with those kids in my classroom that need the extra help.  He must have seen that I gave up my prep time and my break time to keep kids who didn't understand math or reading.  He has a plan for me.  It's taken me over a month to realize that.  I've cried, stayed in bed, and generally questioned my effectiveness as a teacher through this time.  I still cannot believe that I won't have MY kids next year.  I'll be sharing them with a classroom teacher. They'll be coming in and out of my classroom like I have a revolving door.  

I still cannot believe that I've been told I have no control over my students.  I still cannot believe, that although my kids did well on their report cards and ISTEP testing, that I am not an effective 5th grade teacher. I still cannot believe I've been stripped of my status as a general education teacher. 

I know...what's the big deal?  I have a job next year in a time when many are either losing their jobs or cannot find work.  I'm still working with the teachers that I love dearly. Hey, I don't even have to move classrooms! I'll have a wonderful assistant this fall who has done her best to put a smile on my face even though she has her own battles going on.  I know....what's wrong with me???

I'll tell you what's wrong...I haven't been given a "good" answer as to why I've been moved.  There's not a single thing that I've been told that makes any sense.  I'm not effective in my position...okay, then tell me where I've not been effective.  Why are my evaluations good if I wasn't effective?  Why, when I was told I was going to Kindergarten last summer, was I put back in 5th grade if I "can't handle it"? I have no control over my kids.  Okay....why haven't any of them (save one early on in the year) been to the principal's office?  I had an excellent group this year.  They were not only well-behaved, they treated each other with respect (well, as much as 10 and 11-year olds can).  Sure, we got a little loud now and then.  Show me a classroom that hasn't.  It still beats me....test scores were good, report cards were good, and parents were very pleased.  I just don't get it.

Anywho...I'm trying to get over it.  I have good days and bad days with it.  Until you've walked a mile in my shoes....don't judge me.

So, now what?

Christmas Program

My students just had their last elementary Christmas program on Tuesday night.  Our music teacher, Mrs. Richardson, is new this year.  I think she did a fantastic job!  Here are a few pics:

Here are the happy 5th graders

Santa is in my class

Hard to see, but two of "my" reindeer catching hoops on their antlers.

Here's a better reindeer pic.

The stage.  The Christmas program was kind of like the Reindeer Olympics.  Very cute and entertaining!

I might add that these pics were from the dress rehearsal performance that we put on during the day before the real program that night.  That's why most of the kids don't look dressed up!

I Bet You Hate Your Job, Ms. Sutton

One of my students told me this week, after I gave a lecture on behavior to the class:

"I bet you hate your job, Ms. Sutton."

Hmm.  No, I definitely don't hate my job.  Do I have days I wish I was at home/the beach/shopping/etc. instead of at work?  Sure.  Everyone does.  I've had many challenges during the time I've worked for the school corporation.  I had many trying students, coworkers, personal issues, you name it.  Not once did I hate my job.

Hate is a very strong word.  Last year, I outlawed that word (among others) in my classroom.  You could "strongly dislike" something, or "strongly dislike" how someone was acting, but "hate" you could not.

This week has been a trying week.  I can't figure out if we're all getting sick, if there's a full moon, or perhaps if we all have cabin fever (note that it's been in the 70s this week and we've taken full advantage of our recess time).  I am just not sure.  I am hoping it's not a case of "Holiday Hyperness,"  because if it is, we need to get a handle on it quick because we still have a month of school before Christmas Break.

My favorite (note the sarcasm here) thing is when I start to teach and all my students start talking.  Or coloring.  Or reading.  Apparently, they already know how to do everything that I've taught, so they don't see the need to pay attention.  Hmm.  Okay.

Our principal is very big on respect.  You are respectful to everyone, whether you like them or not, whether you agree with them or not.  Not paying attention to your teacher when he/she is teaching is disrespectful.  In fact, our principal spent about 25 minutes in my room last week talking to my class about how we need to be respectful and tolerant of each other (I have a few personality conflicts in my room).  Today we were respectful to our Veterans, but not so respectful to the teacher or to each other.

Now, granted, we have more than our fair share of fun in my classroom.  I strongly dislike being all stuffy and serious for the entire school day.  However, the State of Indiana has deemed me in charge of educating 19 students in the 5th grade state standards.  Unfortunately, you can't teach all those standards in a non-stuffy, non-serious fashion.  You also can't have much peace and order without everyone dishing out their fair share of respect.

Okay--enough of my rant and rave for the evening.  Friday, here I come!!

Some kids...

Some kids are challenging--you spend the majority of your time trying to figure out what makes them tick.

Some kids are hilarious--you want to hear their jokes and their opinions all day long.

Some kids are your ray of sunshine--you look forward to the next time you will see them and also look forward to hearing what they have to say.

Some kids get under your skin--you find yourself counting to 10 all day long when they're on a roll.

Some kids tug at your heartstrings--you know that if you could keep this child, they would have a shot in life.

Some kids are responsible--you never have to worry when you put these kids in charge of something.

Some kids are just there at the right time--they put that much-needed smile on your face just when you didn't think you could go on.

Some kids are in your life for such a short time--but they change your life forever.

All kids are precious.  They deserve the very best that the adults in their lives have to give them.  They look up to us as role models and we have the great challenge of molding and shaping them into the leaders of tomorrow.

I know I had a great day with my kids today (despite the fact we'd all had way too much sugar the past few days).  There were irritations and aggravations, but there was learning, laughing, and life lessons being taught in the process.  I cannot imagine being in another profession!

Fascinated

I decided (wisely) to let my students have some "Talk Time" on Tuesday.  I knew they'd have a bazillion stories about their Fall Breaks, so I gave each student a two-minute turn at the podium to tell about their vacations.  I even gave myself a two-minute talk time and told them a few highlights of my trip to New Orleans.  Of course, they had many questions.  And I ran over my two minutes.  :)  They were most curious about the ghost and cemetery tours.  Several of my students are reading books about ghosts, mysteries, etc. and they were fascinated by what I had to say.  I told them about my "ghostly" dream (where Madame Lalaurie was pulling on my arms).  Man, they were hooked!  I told them a little about the cemeteries and about burial in New Orleans.  I was sure I'd have some parent phone calls over that one, but I didn't.  In fact, I spoke with one parent after school and she said her daughter was thrilled with learning about the ghosts and cemeteries. 

I can honestly say that speaking about my experience in New Orleans was the first time in my teaching career that I actually felt like I was teaching them something.  I was incorporating history, world events, and geography all while keeping their interests.  I wasn't using a textbook or technology--I was using my experience and my ability to communicate that experience to my students.  Wow! This is exactly why I went into this profession!