Ok, Teacher, How Are You Going to Handle This One?

I'm not really sure how to start this post.  I had a very sickening day today at school.  First, I was observed by my principal as part of my yearly evaluation.  That part went well, but I get so nervous when he comes to observe me.  The next part was what made me sick.

After the principal left, one of my male students came up to me and said he needed to speak with me in the hallway.  I was thinking to myself, "What on earth could he want to talk to me about in private?"  At this age, you expect the girls to ask to speak to you privately about "girl stuff."  Anyway, we finally found a "quiet" spot in the hallway and I asked him what was up.

He proceeded to tell me that this happens every year, but the kids were making fun of him.  When I asked which students, he said "everyone" and dissolved into tears.  Now, I must give a little background info here.  This student is an intelligent, kind, caring, trustworthy, and conscientious student.  He's not interested in most things my other boys are, like hunting, sports, etc.  He's interested in art, gardening, and music.  He has an appreciation for everyone and everything.  As soon as his first tear fell, I wanted to punch someone.  Hard.  We talked a little more through his tears and I narrowed in on the general group of students who were targeting him.  The more we talked, the more he cried and the angrier I got.  Tears started to form in my eyes, but I knew I needed to get a grip and be a professional, not a bodyguard like I wanted to be.

Ok, teacher, how do you handle that?  I think this is one of the hardest things as an educator to deal with.  Sometimes, kids are just being kids.  They are expressing themselves in the only way they know how, whether that's in a positive or negative way.  You can talk to them, guide them, and send them on their way.  Then, after so much guiding and redirecting, there comes a time when more serious measures need to be taken.  Sometimes that's a talk with the principal, sometimes that's a conference with a parent, sometimes it could be a combination of things.  The truth is, I don't think there's any "good" way to deal with a situation like this.  By nature I don't like confrontation (I know, that's a strange thing for a teacher to say).  I like everyone to do what they're supposed to do and that's what makes the world go 'round, in my mind.  When I need to confront someone, I'm not very consistent in my punishments, either (which, granted, different situations require different consequences).

In life, adults are this way, too.  As adults, our defense mechanisms are better at dealing with negative people.  We learn to let things go, slide off our back, go in one ear and out the other.  Or we get fed up and give someone a piece of our minds. As kids...I think it's harder.  By age 9 or 10, kids are learning that not everyone in the class is their friend (adults already know this).  They learn who they prefer to be around, and who they most definitely do not want to be anywhere near (adults already know this, too).  They have to begin to learn to deal with those people who are negative (ditto on the adults).  I think this is one of the hardest things kids have to do.

So, teacher, what did you do?  Well, first I had to calm down a little.  Like I said, my first instinct was to throw someone into something hard. (I think it's a good thing I don't have children of my own.  I can only imagine how I would react if one of them was in a situation like this!  I would be knowns a "that" mom for sure!).  Next, I talked to a few of the kids that I had a sneaking suspicion they had been behind some of this.  After that, I contacted a parent and possibly tomorrow I will be contacting more.  I certainly don't want to make this into a huge deal, but to this boy, it's already a huge deal.  I have documented this incident, and will be more watchful for others like it.  My principal will be involved in some capacity, too.

For now, I will try to keep calming down.  I'll hopefully get a good night's sleep and be able to look on the situation a little differently in the morning.  I can only pray that this little boy who has been targeted does the same.

Would you have done anything differently?